


get it wrong, get it right

by remnantof



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: 5 Things, Developing Relationship, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 22:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remnantof/pseuds/remnantof
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>five stages of love: attraction, romance, passion, intimacy, commitment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	get it wrong, get it right

invite him to shop. be graceful, wait for the next week. ask again. be clumsier, laugh at him. imagine his laugh: feel underwhelmed, upon hearing. listen again. tease it out, tease him out. invite him to shop. take a trolley, hang off the bar. pretend this is a movie, pretend you are directing. frame his face with your fingers over the bin of fresas. breathe that smell deep. miss his smile. catch his laugh, turning away. find it different. notice.

-

worry, try the dark shirt. smell, discard: laugh at yourself. ask the mirror, what. ask, who is he anyway? worry, worry. bite yourself, trim your hair. shave your throat, bleed. say, it’s wednesday. feel: pressed into your skin, afraid. say you can’t do this. say you won’t. hear the dishes clicking together in the kitchen. promise.

try the blue shirt. fly, fly--follow the interstate, measure the heat as it rises. possess knowledge that has nothing to do with this. apply it anyway. catch him. throw his helmet away: kiss him. again.

-

wait. wait more. reach the point, breach the point: break, stop caring. realize it doesn’t work that way, wait, make it better. kiss slower, kiss longer. come up for air, don’t take it. get angry, hold it in. bite yourself, wash yourself. do it all yourself. hate him. keep waiting. try the dark shirt, try the blue shirt. try it slow, try it fast. be graceful, be angry, unlearn the difference. have the first fight. know it is real, know it will happen again.

say, what do you want? wait for an answer. wait more. hold it in, let him. let him come to you. kiss slower, kiss lower. come up for air. take it. take everything.

-

have the second fight: hold his hard fingers, yell. overhear a conversation, see him less. say, we’re just friends. say, he’s busy. do your homework. finish your homework. go to the tower. have the fight: hold on, push him away. feel like an asshole. feel sick, be in a bad mood. don’t apologize. ball your fists. be easy to read. resent it.

watch him reaching, know the hand will drop. walk away from it. close your door. remember space and time, from the outside. know: this is not loneliness. hear him knock. be in a bad mood: let him in.

-

wake up.

hear the shout, stop, watch--keep watching. see him sit still shouting and the blanket fall, and the hands electric with it. feel every jolt on your skin. commit that to memory, play it back. never lose this. want, kneel, watch the face slack and stop. wait, listen. hear nothing, then, hear the choke. see the throat move, see the eyes cut across, meet them, lose them, grab, hold. _hold _. know the meaning of the word, and grip. say, it is alright, all right, it is; know otherwise. don’t know, be uncertain. be shaken: shake, lightly. remember to breathe. remind him to breathe. do this.__

do this.


End file.
